Exactly six
months before Christmas Day, the leaders of Boston Borough council last night
got an early present when their plan to form an “alliance" with East Lindsey
District Council squeaked through by a single vote.
***
It
provided another excruciating webcast for those of us with time on our hands
and showed just how far Worst Street has to go before it can present itself as
a half-way decent council.
***
To the
listener, the audio was a blend of that old children’s’ favourite Sparky’s
Magic Piano, with councillors taking turns to sound like the enchanted
instrument, and an audition for soundalikes to reprise the catchphrase of the
well-known thirties’ comedian Sandy Powell – can you hear me, mother?
***
For the
viewer, it seemed as if a cleaner at that great comedy film company Ealing Studios
had swept up the out-takes from the editing room floor and randomly spliced them
together to produce a spoof of pictures in the style of the Blair Witch Project.
***
To spare
you a lot of pain, we’ll keep this short and sweet – though the event itself
was long and sour … as have been other previous meetings.
***
It was
never going to end in anything but tears for the opposing councillors,
who – despite repeatedly pulling myxomatotic rabbits from their battered top
hat – again failed to deliver the magic that they needed on the night.
***
Of the
more vocal members, Councillor Anne Dorrian as usual tried her best to pour sand into the fuel tank of the leadership limousine with an imaginative
final amendment which suggested that the present Boston Chief Executive stayed
on pro tem to work alongside the man named to take over his job from 1st
July – something that we are sure would have led to many happy hours of chat at
the water cooler.
***
The Austins
were in there too – reprising their triple act first seen at the last meeting
when the addition of Councillor Viven Edge caused so much consternation.
This time
there were no masks – instead what Councillor Alison Austin referred to as a game
of “musical chairs” as the trio swapped seats to appear in front of the camera as
their turn was called. It helped that Councillor Edge’s trademark – wearing a
hat at all times – made recognition that much easier.
***
Interestingly,
just one councillor was absent – and what a difference that made. Former leader
Aaron Spencer – the man who went from being In Our Face to In Disgrace
completed the hattrick by being Lost In Space last night.
***
At the
last meeting (the one that saved his bacon as he was on the brink of being ‘sacked’
for not attending council for six months) he supported an amendment to delay
the alliance for even longer than that so councillors could do what they do best –
talk about it a lot.
That –
coupled with an unhelpful abstention – saw the motion succeed … after which the
proposed alliance plan was withdrawn, to be tweaked and re-presented to last
night’s “extraordinary” meeting in what narrowly proved to be an acceptable
form.
This creates
a scrutiny “framework” to let Worst Street “shadow” the evolution of the joint
officer corps, and gives the council .an option to end the alliance after 12
months by giving three months’ notice on 1st April next year if they don’t like
it.
***
There was
also the addition of a “bribe” of free parking until Christmas if the deal went
through – which attracted surprisingly little comment last night.
***
At the end
of the night – made longer by a comfort break for some of the more delicate
bladders among the older members of the council, no doubt – the voting nudged
itself just far enough for the leadership to claim victory … by the sliver of one
vote.
***
Had Councillor
Spencer been there and voted as he did last time the result would have been a
draw – and there is no doubt that a casting mayoral vote would have sent things
the way the leaders wanted, although probably not what they would have liked,
as that would have been an even more hollow victory.
***
When push
came to shove, the Tory drones who make up the majority toad the party line –
and yes, we do know that that is not the correct spelling.
***
So – a win
in extra time – but definitely no Man of the Match award ... though Councillor
Dorrian came pretty close.
***
The opposition
made many of the right noises and had some good arguments. But by and large
they struggled to communicate the passion needed to fire the emotions of those
who might have been persuaded to waver and defy their Tory masters.
***
The
architect of this project would appear to be deputy leader Nigel Welton who –
despite being handicapped in his efforts by his boss – stuck to his guns
throughout … although we would have rather heard fewer threats.
***
Whilst we
are broadly in favour of an alliance between Worst Street and another council –
or perhaps even two – this has not been a great night at Worst Street.
***
The ruling
group has limped away with a paper victory; a lame duck vote – one that must
leave East Lindsey deeply concerned at how things will go forward, and make any
other councils that might be asked to consider an alliance in the future think long
and hard about whether it would be worth it.
We sense a
rocky road ahead, as we believe that given the myriad concerns expressed by the
opposition, they will be looking for ways to torpedo the alliance rather than see
it sail proudly into port.
***
And whilst
it has been interesting to watch the debates on our home computers, we wonder
whether this will continue now that lockdown is drawing to a close.
It should
do.
Meetings
are not easy to attend for a lot of interested observers of local democracy –
and the minutes that emerge weeks later reflect nothing of what has really
happened.
Especially,
they do not indicate what our councillors are really like – something that may
well come back to bite them at the ballot box at the next local election.
***
For that
reason alone, we suspect that our representatives will be more than happy to
disappear back down their respective rabbit holes where scarcely anything that they
say is seen and heard by the people who elected them.
It’s a
move that should not be allowed.
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