Friday 17 August 2012



 The plan to sell Boston’s Assembly Rooms with the likely closure of the Market Place public toilets has raised an interesting question as to whether there has been any consultation with members of the many groups likely to be affected. This sort of thing is becoming tirelessly repetitive as our so-called “leaders” continue their policy of “we know best” in the face of reasoned and sensible objections to their proposals. Ironically, one group likely to be seriously affected will be the disabled – who may now have to spend much of their “free” 30-minutes’ parking struggling from one side of the town to the other to use the loos. Why it is that the Tories have singled out disabled people for such bad treatment we don’t know – but it is starting to look like a pattern.
And the problem is not confined just to Boston We hadn’t realized how lucrative the disabled were becoming to our local authorities until we learned that Lincolnshire County Council now charges £10 to issue a new blue badge. The excuse for this is that the latest badges are harder to copy and therefore will reduce fraud. How serious a problem this is, we don’t know – but what we do know is that a piece of thoughtlessness has robbed badge holders of the use of the convenient leather wallets that they almost universally used.  These cheap carriers opened like a book with the badge on one side and the time clock on the other. Although the new badges will fit the old case, they bear a fancy hologram. This has led to a County Council edict: “Do not place this new badge inside a wallet with a clear plastic pocket as this may cause damage to the hologram when exposed to high temperatures.” So, a simple and cheap badge and clock that could be displayed together have been replaced by two items that could easily become separated. Many thanks for that.
Another point concerning the closure of the Market Place toilets that it would be foolish to ignore is the possibility of a visitor backlash. A stallholder at the newly introduced craft market held in Boston on alternate Thursdays says that when the council in Newark sold its public toilets to raise funds and decided not to replace them, an immediate result was a dramatic drop in visitor numbers. This was followed by declining trade, which led to a drop in market stalls and then the closure of a number of surrounding independent small shops. Hopefully the Tory wrecking crew might take this concern on board as well.
We’re so excited about the plans for Christmas in Boston which we read about in the local papers this week. Until now, we had never considered that “bubble cars dressed as elves” might be deemed “festive figures” – but we’re an open-minded lot, and are willing to give the idea a chance. We’re also glad to see that local “dignitaries” will be attending, as Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without Councillor Yvonne Gunter in attendance. What baffles us a little is the claim by the organisers - Boston Business “Improvement” District – that the idea of the event is to “try to get Boston on the map.” This daft phrase is trotted out time and again by people who fail to realise that the town has been in the atlas for hundreds of years. What they mean is that they want to promote Boston – something which the BID has spectacularly failed to do since its inception.
We note yet another case of Boston’s relegation from the minds of the great and the good  in an interview with Lincolnshire’s Chief Constable Neil Rhodes. He tells us that “he is aware that there are fewer officers on the beat” – well spotted, that man – and goes on to promise that we will get a “clearly identified” local inspector, adding: “So if you live in Market Rasen, Louth or Horncastle, you will have a team of people that should be seen regularly on patrol, and they should be known to you by name and always approachable. These are the real pillars of the neighbourhood policing approach.” Of course, he was probably plucking names out of the air when he picked Market Rasen, Louth and  Horncastle to illustrate his point. But the fact remains that no-one seems these days  to think to mention Boston – which ironically is policed by a team that is seldom seen out on the streets – except, it appears, when the is the opportunity for some decent overtime.
This week’s award for the most inaccurate reporting in three paragraphs or less goes to the Boston Standard.  Aside from the fact that the town’s ALDI store closed for four days, and not “several weeks,”  and that it reopened yesterday and not on Thursday of last week as the story suggests,  the piece is absolutely spot on.
It is disappointing to learn that the borough’s now infamous Jubilee Fountain is still lying in pieces at the council’s Fen Road site -  despite promises to reinstate it at its former location in Central Park after it was vandalised soon after being switched on some two months ago.  Its return is looking unlikely now that the base has been filled with flowers – but frankly it looks all the better for it. The only good news in the whole sorry affair is that we are told that the contentious plaque engraved to mark the event has also disappeared as well.
Is it a sign of the times …?  So many complaints are being made about the way Boston Borough Council is operating, that we were scarcely surprised to read this in a recent letter from an officer to a less than happy member of the public: “Thank you for your complaint dated … in which I understand you are complaining about the way in which your complaint of … has been handled.” It could only happen in Boston …
We wonder whether there has been some sort of coup within the Boston Borough Council chamber. This week’s customary letter from “Boston’s Labour councillors” is signed instead by “Boston Borough Councillors.” Hmmm.
Finally, we’re not normally given to rhapsodising in verse at Boston Eye, and even though the following contribution  from former Boston Borough Councillor John Storry was slightly “off message,” it made us laugh so much that we thought we would include our readers in the cheering-up process. After all, life in the town these days is scarcely a hoot. Mr Storry wrote after learning of the issue of free condoms to participants in the Olympic Games, and wondered -  if there had been an official response - if it might have been on the following lines: -

Said Lord Coe in Committee “We need to address
An issue which could cause one hell of a mess
After thousands of condoms were freely donated
To allow all the athletes to get themselves mated!

I’ve had a quick word with the medical chap
Who insists there’s no danger of catching the Clap
But I fear that he’s missing the point, so to speak
They’ll all be shagged out by the end of the week!

Each event’s guaranteed to fall flat on its face
(Who’d sweep up the condoms before every race?)
And the females would win every time, so it’s said
‘cos their male counterparts would be ‘rutting’ in bed!

There is only one way to avoid this impasse
To ensure that the Games don’t fall flat on their ass
We must sponsor a race for confirmed alcoholics
Embellished by striptease and sexual frolics.

Even though there’d be problems programming events
(The Bedouins would probably want it in tents!)
But that might cause many white athletes to frown
Unless the Australians performed upside down!

 Respecting the foibles of every contender
Means taking full notice of everyone’s gender
And if that should outrage some Conservative buff
Tell them “If you don’t like it, we’re sorry, but ‘Tough!”


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Our former blog is archived at: http://bostoneyelincolnshire.blogspot.com


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